Clementines, the ideal fruit
The following was prompted by a lengthy discussion 12 years ago on the ideal fruit. Not your favorite. Not the tastiest. The most ideal. Now presented in its entirety, the document formerly known as “the clementine manifesto”.
They taste good. They are sweet, and you rarely get bad ones.
They are good at satisfying both hunger and thirst. While clearly food, clementines are very juicy, quenching thirst.
They are portable. They are small enough to fit in a pocket, and you do not need to wash them before eating them.
They are easy to eat. First, they are easy to peel, then they break into bite-size portions, perfect for eating any time. And there are no seeds.
They are neat. You do not get juice, pulp, or bits of any sort all over. The peel creates a good place to put the rest of the clementine down between bites, yet is biodegradable, so, in the absence of a trashcan, it can be thrown on the ground.
They smell good. If you’ve smelled them, you know what I mean.
They come at the right time of year. Summer fruits are delicious, but there are so many of them; how can you concentrate? Clementines are in season when few other fruits are.
They have positive associations. Clementines are traditional Christmas gifts, associating them with one of the best-loved times of the year.
They are easy to share. First, because they are small enough that you can bring a whole bunch with you, and second, because they split apart so easily.They make people happy. Yes, giving someone a clementine is sure to bring a smile to their face.
The only compelling counter-case made was for the banana. But I hate bananas, so there is no banana manifesto.
Oranges are a traditional gift of St. Nicholas, whose feast is December 5th. So, don’t forget to put out your shoe tomorrow night to see if someone will leave you an ideal treat!
